it wasn't lemon gatorade
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
