We named our party play list daddy issues
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
