He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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