Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
