Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
