That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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