He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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