Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
