i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
