I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize