two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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