HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
