Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
