We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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