when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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