He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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