I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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