Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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