If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
did you just send me my own nude
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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