i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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