My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize