Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize