is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
