you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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