he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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