Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
