sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
