my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
