He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
