Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
