In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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