I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize