I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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