hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
