his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How does one acquire holy water?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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