omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize