But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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