I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
