He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
