Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
