okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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