I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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