You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
