is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
