I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
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the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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