Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
