Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
