Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
