It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
