i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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