He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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