I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
