I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
