The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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