I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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