I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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