Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
